I believe that it’s a good idea to stop and take some time to reflect on your life now and then. It helps us see how we’ve grown as people, and see how far we’ve come. For me, this type of reflection usually occurs near the end of the year as the holidays begin to gear up and the new year is just around the corner.

A lot has happened in 2016…Jobs, relationships, travel, growth, and lessons learned. Here are a few of the big ones:

1. You are never really stuck.

I spent an inordinate amount of time on a career track that I was ultimately not passionate about at all. I was unhappy not only with the job but also with how negative and toxic the environment was – this unhappiness sometimes followed me home. I felt as if I was mired in this bad situation because I needed to support myself and pay the bills. And this is something I allowed to continue for a long time. For someone who has always believed in themselves to achieve anything with a little extra hard work and effort, I had seemingly given up on myself. Admitting my complacency in the situation is still difficult. Ultimately this negative turned around as I stopped allowing myself to be stuck, and started being proactive in finding another job and following my dreams. With just a little extra effort I was offered multiple jobs that I applied for, and am waiting to hear back about my placement for a dream job that I am incredibly excited about.

2. Everything is a little easier if you take a logical approach.

If you know anything about the Meyers-Briggs personality types, I’m an INFP – the “F” is for feelings, and occasionally being more emotionally driven or emotionally reactive can have some pretty negative consequences. Most of the time, simply looking at the facts devoid of any powerful over-arching emotion can help any situation have a positive resolution. Tempering my initial reaction to a perceived negative situation has produced a much better understanding of people different than myself, and has contributed to a more peaceful existence. I’m ultimately still harnessing this skill, but I have seen the immediate benefit of choosing logic and reason over emotion. This applies to life in all aspects, from work to personal. One of my principal goals in the coming year is to improve this ability.

3. Friendships can change, but that is ok.

I think this is a lesson we are always learning as human beings, but this year has really tested my resolve and has caused me to question what kind of people I want to surround myself with. Our lives are limited in time and scope, and those who we choose to surround ourselves with, and give time to, say a lot fundamentally about who we are. I realized that I allowed some toxic people in my life, and that created tangible negativity within myself. I was spending so much of my time feeling badly over friendships that were ultimately unfulfilling and unsupportive. Allowing myself to release those friendships and focus more on the good has been overwhelmingly beneficial.

4. Don’t regret anything (and stop ruminating).

A big problem I have had for a long time is to continuously feed the beast of anxiety by overthinking “what ifs?” about paths that I have not taken. Where choices have diverged – I stress over where the other road might have led. Hindsight is 20/20, but at that moment in time, I’ve learned, it was exactly what I wanted. So worrying over the decision after the fact is useless. Honestly, you can’t know that anything would be “better” if you took that other road. It’s more productive to look ahead than to find yourself stuck because you’re constantly wondering what could have been.

5. Healthy body and healthy choices make a healthy mind.

In the last few months of this year, my significant other and I decided it was time to start eating healthy. While it is still something I am working on, I feel better to be aware of what I’m putting in my body. This also involved quitting smoking, which was not an easy feat. It’s embarrassing really, to admit that I was a smoker – even if it was for a short time – it is a singularly terrible thing that wreaks havoc on your body. Making better choices and caring about myself and my health is definitely the best decision.

6. It’s ok to be unsure/not know what you want

This is a big one for me, I have always had a plan in my life about where I was going to go and what I was going to do. I would throw everything into making it happen; from moving to California to getting my Bachelor’s degree, I have always been extremely motivated to succeed. After graduating from college in 2014 I became the manager of a cafe and spent most of my time focusing on that, to end up unhappy at the end of the day. I felt lost because I didn’t feel as if I had any direction. This year, I learned that although I may not be where I want to be – or even know exactly what that is – as long as I’m prioritizing my dreams and working on improving myself, then everything is OK. I don’t know where I’m going to be 5 years from now. Gosh..I don’t know what I’m going to be doing next month, or next week for that matter. I’ve learned that when I leave room for the unknown, unexpectedly amazing things can happen. I want to make more room for this in the coming year. To feel more comfortable with living my life spontaneously and face the unknown with excitement.

7. Everything takes time

This ties into the last one, but is important enough to be its own bullet point. No matter what it is, from the next job to improving a skill – it will take time. Being frustrated or disappointed that what you wanted is not here right now, will only be detrimental to growth and change.

8. Listen to your heart

I think this speaks for itself. Sometimes it is all too easy to follow the simple path, to let yourself be caught up in the doldrums of the day-to-day and forget that life is about purpose. My heart has been pushing me to stop meandering through my life, to get on my feet and go out into the world – to find my place, to start being a better person – to help others. I keep thinking about this inspiring speech from Theodore Roosevelt, and how we should all endeavor to be the person he describes. It’s called “The Man in the Arena” – which follows:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

9. If you’re going to do anything, do it 100%

Another title I thought for this one was “stop talking about what you want, and go out there and get it”. It’s easy to want something or talk about what you want, but unless you strive for it fully it will never be realized. This applies directly to my artwork, and over the course of the year, I have produced more pieces than in the last 3 years combined. I can still be doing more and be more focused on creating. Part of that was creating this blog and becoming more comfortable sharing my artwork online. Fully investing in myself and in every moment is a huge goal I am earnestly aiming for. Additionally, even though I am not yet in a career that I love, I need to focus on being fully present in that situation. In all moments being 100%, no matter if it is a small – like completing a work task, to the big things – like the aforementioned artwork or being fully present while spending time with friends and family. This is a lesson I am still learning and working toward daily. I just had a conversation with my boyfriend last night about how I felt I was wasting my time working at my current job, and was given the advice that I was seeing the situation too negatively – which is true. It is so much more beneficial to change my perspective and be positive and present in everything that I do.

10. Let go of the past, and forgive.

Nothing has ever been handed to me in life, I have always gone out and gotten what I wanted through dedication and perseverance. That being said, sometimes I have held onto perceived slights or bad memories, and that colors how I deal with people and situations. Without delving too deeply into it, I’ve held onto a lot that has happened in my life – more subconsciously than anything. Letting go of those things, and forgiving them is so so important. The past is the past and nothing can change that, save for a time machine – but I don’t think I’m going to get my hands on one of those anytime soon.  If anything I should hold tight to the good memories and let go of the bad. Nourish the positive and abandon the negative.

This ended up being a much more introspective exercise than I realized it would be. I’ve learned a lot in the past year, even more than I’ve listed here. With each passing year, I realize that life is always teaching you something, no matter how old you become. Being open to the lessons is one of the most important actions we can take.