Canceled plans, canceled trips: No week in Ireland or Comic-con weekend this year, no birthday celebration with friends and family (I turned the big 3-0 at the end of March), and hoping that my wedding in November will still be able to move forward. As I’m writing this I can hear the kids who live in the apartment below running back and forth – a physical manifestation of a world’s restlessness. I’ve felt like doing the same more than a few times.

With the pandemic ravaging so many parts of our world, obviously, my canceled plans are incredibly minuscule problems. Especially compared to the immense suffering experienced by so many people. My heart breaks a little each time I read the news, and I’m constantly worrying about friends and family. Consequently, staying home and physically distancing from others is essential, and my fiancé and I have been indoors except for a few necessary trips since the end of March.

Spring brought the Corona-virus in like a slow wave, even a week or so before our planned flight to Dublin we still believed it would probably be alright to go… until the cases in the United States began to grow exponentially, and our stay-at-home order in California went into effect. Now the world outside our door feels somewhat post-apocalyptic or dystopian: mostly empty streets, everyone in masks, an invisible haze of anxiety lurking in the air.

When we lived in Korea, masks were relatively commonplace: students wore them when they were feeling sick but still ok to come to school, most people wore them outside during bad pollution days. Cloth masks were also useful in winter to keep my face warm when walking outside in freezing temperatures. Now, they are also essential protective equipment for all to shield oneself and others from passing on this particular virus.

It is interesting to see what is happening on social media and the overwhelming, and often contradictory, influx of opinions (“be productive” – “it’s ok to not be productive” – etc). Words like “new normal” and “flattening the curve” are worming their way into our collective daily vocabulary. Ultimately, each person is dealing with this time of uncertainty in their own way.

For me, I’m spending my time working, drawing, writing, reading, and playing video games – some of which I normally have very little/no time to do with my school/work/California traffic insanity schedule. Also still wedding planning, although it’s a little more stressful than before – and overall trying to find the little positives in the day (such as finally having the time to binge-watch Outlander). There are definitely hours where I am happy to be inside and other hours where I’m ready to go/get out/do something – but for now I’m inside looking out and waiting for when it’s a bit safer.

Until then, I’m in my little corner of the apartment working away (or marathoning Community, the Aliens franchise, and more with my fiancé in the evenings). Another bonus, I’ll have more time to write some blog posts about past trips I never got around to completing and otherwise adding some more content to this small bit of the internet I call my own. See you again soon, and hope everyone is staying safe out there.